Kino Der Toten
by Vault08
Summary: A novelization of the 'Kino Der Toten' zombies map. May turn this into an actual story past Kino if it does well. M for language, descriptive gore, and excessive violence.


"Ja, ja, za power needs to be turned on!"

The thick German accent of the Doctor rang into the depths of the abandoned theatre, and confirmed that it was indeed abandoned. As if the boarded up windows, rotting walls, and overall look of the place wasn't enough evidence as it was. Before them sat the lobby of the theatre, with a symmetric staircase to both their left and right leading to an upper floor, where a door to the right lay undisturbed. Similarly, on the bottom floor, the door down a hallway forward and to their left lay ready to be opened.

The "American War Hero" Tank Dempsey, wasted no time, immediately grabbing an Olympia shotgun that was to his left. Loading two shells into it and smirking, he was ready to do what he did best: murder freakbags.

"Ey! Zhis wodka machine no work!" Nikolai shouted, kicking the Quick Revive Soda machine.

"Russian, did you not just hear Richtofen? The power is not on, you fool." Takeo retorted, grabbing an M14 laying on the stairs and cocking it, chambering a round from the magazine.

At first, only a few zombies showed themselves, stumbling their way to the window, giving the occasional moan or roar. The team of four disposed of them quickly and efficiently, after all, they had plenty of experience. Having murdered, or re-murdered, the undead everywhere from a Japanese swamp to a German factory, they knew how to destroy the masses of the undead, it was just a matter of time until the 'masses' came.

"His head exploded! Oh, joy!" Richtofen shouted as a round from his pistol tore through the rotting skull of a zombie, sending the decaying brains showering over the theatre floor.

"Richtofen, your 'children' are massing a party for ya here!" Dempsey said as a group of three or four zombies penetrated a window, breaking into the theatre.

Four shots rang out in quick succession, and the bodies of the already-dead undead fell to the ground, all with large holes in their heads. Richtofen, Dempsey, and Nikolai turned to see Takeo standing at the top of the stairs, holding his smoking M14, suppressing a smirk.

"Good job, Taks!" Dempsey shouted in appreciation.

"Vhatever. I have twice better aim even wven I am drunk!" Nikolai boasted, before returning to his window and raising his pistol, firing seven shots into a zombie before it fell to the ground, lifeless. His Russian accent, combined with the slur of his words from his constant drinking, made his two cents usually either hard to comprehend, useless, or both.

Dempsey darted up the staircase to his right as the undead broke down the barrier from the window at the top of the stairs, moaning and shrieking as they always did. Raising his Olympia, he fired two shots in quick succession, which penetrated the abdomen of the two zombies before him, their rotting entrails spilling out onto the floor and emitting a foul odor which Dempsey would rather soon forgot.

"Holy fuck, that stinks!" The American announced, lowering his shotgun with one hand and using the other to cover his nose.

"Smells like my fourth vife!" Nikolai announced, before tossing a grenade into the window Dempsey was defending, from the bottom of the stairs. A surprisingly good aim for a drunk Russian, but the team had seen Nikolai do better.

It was getting the alcoholic Russian to rebel against his own laziness that proved the greatest challenge.

Dempsey turned and reached Takeo just as the grenade detonated, blowing any remaining zombies to high hell, and coating the rotting walls of the theatre a fresh crimson.

"Uh, excuse me, A LITTLE HELP?" Richtofen shouted from the bottom of the stairs as he backed up further and further against a wall, a mass of zombies fast on his heel.

"Taks, get the frontmost freakbags, I'm gonna blow those fuckers to high hell!" Dempsey said, pulling the pin from a grenade and letting it cook.

As Richtofen led the undead mass of 7 or 8 zombies up the stairs, Takeo picked off the front-most zombies leading the pack with a succession of headshots with his pistol, and Dempsey quickly followed up by throwing his grenade against the wall so it bounded off and landed directly into the mass of the zombies. A second of anticipation passed just as the zombies reached Richtofen, Takeo, and Dempsey, before the grenade detonated, coating the three in rotting organs, blood, and freakbits.

"Gross!"

"Dishonorable!"

"Oh, JOY!"

Dempsey wiped the blood from his eyes, his American Military outfit now covered with the blood of his adversary. While he didn't mind showcasing his victory over the enemy, at least he wasn't sporting an erection from the bloody mist like a certain Doctor.

"Oh, zhis is wunderbar!" Richtofen shouted, reveling in the mist of blood that coated his face. Despite the fact that he wiped it off so it didn't hinder his vision, the Doctor took great pride and pleasure in the fact that the mist of his children's blood was sprayed against his skin, cooling his warm flesh, which was previously coated in sweat, with a cool spray of red.

"Herro? Am I the only one who thinks we should move forward?" Takeo said to the others, before turning and kicking in the door to his right, revealing a small room that overlooked the top of a theater, a small hallway with an electric barrier, before another room, which had an unopened door.

Nikolai grunted as he made his way up the stairs. From the smell that Dempsey and Richtofen caught, apparently he had used the time they were blowing up zombies with to hit the flask a few times, and 'improve his aim'.

"Onvard, then! Come!" Nikolai announced, following Takeo into the next room.

"Say..." Dempsey said as he heard a crackle of lightning above them. He then turned to his teammates and sighed, before cracking open his Olympia and loading two fresh shells into it.

"Am I the only one that hears some puppy dogs comin'?"


End file.
